STAY AWAY FROM THIS JOINT

Since Cari is preparing for her trip to the Essence Fest, I’ll be covering Eat-Out Wednesdays (or my own version that is). While she’ll only bring you the best places to eat in NYC, I’m taking this opportunity to do something a little different. First of all, we’re not food critics, this weekly post is not intended to tarnish the reputation of any dining establishment, and for the folks that invite us to dine at their restaurants — if we don’t like it, we just won’t review it. However, as a fellow consumer, sometimes we get cheated, hoodwinked, bamboozled or just have a bad experience overall AND as a blogger, I feel the need to put these mofos on BLAST!!

My girlfriend recommended the Smoke Joint on 87 S Elliott Place in Fort Green, Brooklyn. So, I decided to go with MB (aka my man) over the weekend. As usual, we were hungry and I couldn’t wait to try this barbeque that my friend was raving about. The facade reminded me of one of those authentic southern BBQ spots with a visible seating area that resembled a front porch. MB and I entered and waited patiently for someone to come over and seat us. For the first two minutes, the waiters bustled back and forth with plates of food or just empty handed. I tried to make eye contact and MB made a few hand signals, but no one looked our way; except one guy who just gave us a blank stare like we were waxed statues that went with the decor.

 A college buddy noticed MB from where he was seated and came over to chit chat for another two minutes.  Now, I hope you’re counting because that’s all of four minutes without anyone acknowledging us. How is that possible? Did they not notice all five feet, nine inches of me with a man that’s six foot two, Wesley Snipes black and two hundred and forty pounds? Finally, we walked over to, what looked like, the take-out counter.

“Do we get seated or order here?” MB asked the dude behind the counter.

“You can order here,” he replied.

Oh I get it…they weren’t being rude…it’s just one of those down home style places, I thought. When we asked if we could just sit anywhere, the dude looked confused and said he assumed we were doing take-out since they close at eleven. Guess the poor service was our punishment for not knowing their hours of operation and getting there at ten forty-five!

They “accommodated” us by saying we could sit and eat yet the red head waitress totally ignored our table —no utensils, no napkins, no water, not a word. By this time, I’m heated and urged MB to get a refund so we could get the hell outta there. Of course, he felt that I was being dramatic and dismissed my complaints. But, when the bus boy brought our meal, I knew he would regret sticking around.

To sum it all up, the oversized, steroid fed chicken served on a tiny plate was unappetizing. The cornbread was dry and cold and the barbeque sauce seemed like it was diluted with water and sugar. The only thing that excited my taste buds, a little, was the seasoned fries.

Not only did they have bad customer service and bad food, but my trip to the ladies room set off red flags that they’re probably within violation of some health inspection code. The funky odor, exposed rusty pipes, peeling paint and dirty toilet seat made my stomach turn. I walked back to the table, told MB what I saw and that was the end of that nightmare. F what you heard about the barbeque and stay away from this joint. Dallas BBQs is cleaner, cheaper and they have some damn good cornbread.

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

---