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I’m not pessimistic (well not all the time) but I’m a bit tired of hearing the term “soul mate”. What does this phrase even mean? There are tons of articles on “How to find your soulmate”? “Are you married to your soulmate”? The list goes on and on. It makes me wonder do we use this term as genuine affinity for someone or to allow ourselves to believe that the person we selected with all their faults– is just perfect for us? Are people so overcome with being “in-love” that they cannot fathom being with anyone else, (well at least for now). I was having one of those sister-girl conversations with my homie Trace, who blurted out matter-of-factly, “Sometimes, I think couples stay together because it’s easier than looking for someone else, easier than having to self-examine what’s not working in your relationship—so you stick it out and hope for the best.” Is this true? Am I missing out on this private world of euphoria that others seem so wrapped up in. Honestly, I don’t believe in a “soulmate”–here’s why?

The term soulmate is right up there with fairly tales of a night-in-shining armor or kissing the frog that magically turns into a prince. In the real world, a frog is just that–a frog! This notion sets us up for disappointment if a relationship doesn’t work out and places people on pedestals that should not even have gotten off the ground. However, I do think you meet someone that you connect with on numerous levels, and a bond forms. In essence, your relationship is what you make of it, he/she becomes your soul mate, they are not born to become a part of your destiny. I know some people are shaking their heads and thinking how unromantic, but it’s a theory that I have yet to shake. In the end, I may be wrong and instead of lust-at-first sight– it really is love. For now, is there one person out their created for you by God—afterall isn’t that the ultimate definition of a soulmate?

What is your take on the “soulmate”? Do you have one? How did you know this person is your fate? Once you meet him/her do you always end up together?

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